Category Archives: The Uncouth Son

Three and a half and owning it

When Toddlers Go Missing

You would think that after yet another raging BBQ at our house on Sunday, the parental unit would opt to take it easy on Monday; you know, to spend some quality time with the kids they neglected Sunday afternoon and … Continue reading

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A Double Shot of Double Standard, Please

I have discovered a valuable piece of information.  I can’t do anything right, ever.  And Leona does everything right, all the time. Clearly, I spend most of my days cohabitating with a baby gorilla who is at this very moment dipping … Continue reading

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A Poopy-Fingered Rival is Born

It’s been a bad week. The tables seem to be turning and I’m not happy about it.  Thus far, Rat Baby has been the apple of mommy’s eye since the blessed event of her arrival.  Soft blankies, whispered sweet nothings, … Continue reading

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Goodbye Gramma, Hello Lousy Mommy

It’s a sad, sad day in the Mermod home.  Gramma Mic tucked me in last night, and was out the door by 4:30 a.m. this morning.  I woke up and asked mommy if I could go cuddle with her, and mommy … Continue reading

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The Fungus Among Us

It doesn’t sound good, but it’s the truth.  I am surrounded by blistery, pustule-laden siblings and cousins.  Ever heard of hand, foot and mouth disease?  Not to be confused with hoof and mouth disease–that’s the shit cows and sheep get–hand, … Continue reading

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Mommy’s Little Outdoor Helper

Two days ago, I got home from hanging at auntie Jamie’s house with Sienna, and mommy and daddy were verrrry excited to show me something in the back yard.  Come here, buddy!  You want to see something sooo cool?  Immediately, my mind … Continue reading

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S is for Spitting

School’s in session and the Gusman is NOT hot for teacher.  There’s a nice blonde teaching one classroom over, but I got stuck with not one but TWO teachers who got serious beat-downs by the ugly stick.  These are not … Continue reading

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Shot Glasses and Pilates in the Afternoon

The other night, mommy was tucking me into her bed with daddy so I could cuddle with him for a while before I went to my own bed.  We like to have this man time together so mommy can sneak … Continue reading

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You Wanna Come to the Party in my Potty?

What’s so bad about toilet water, anyway? So the other day, mommy was making dinner and it was crunch time.  It was Friday, late afternoon.  Daddy had to work late, so mommy had to feed and bathe us and get ready for … Continue reading

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And the Oscar Goes to…

Who the hell gave mommy permission to lock me in my room? Those motherfucking strong-willed children books, that’s who. I am not okay with this.  If I refuse to sit in a time-out anymore, mommy doesn’t chase me.  She doesn’t … Continue reading

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